Ethel

(Part 1) "I have great dreams, Ethel. I'm starting in the mailroom, then I'm going to work my way up—all the way to the top!" "That's nice, Margaret. I once too was full of naive, youthful enthusiasm," Ethel said. "Now I just sit here with this crazy lamp and this GIVE sign, and wait until the moment I can go home and drink brandy before dinner." "Why, you don't look so much older than me," Margaret replied." What happened to break your spirit?" "It didn't so much as break, as slowly erode," Ethel said. "Well, I don't like all this negative talk! Let's be positive!" "Yeah, positive," Ethel said, reaching for her secret flask of happy juice. Just then the phone rang and Ethel picked it up. It was the call she had been waiting twenty years for... (to be continued)

(Part 2) "Ethel," the voice on the phone said, "it's Lorenzo!" She had met Lorenzo when she was an innocent college girl doing a semester in Italy. Now their love child is a college student herself, though Ethel refuses to let her go to Europe, for obvious reasons. Ethel said, "Oh my, I can't believe it's really you! How did you find me after all this time?" "I saw your name listed in the Reader's Digest magazine in my doctor's office." "It's been twenty years! What has your life been like?" "I got married, but my wife has since passed on. I want to return to my first true love--YOU!" "I've been waiting all this time for you, too, Lorenzo." "I'm coming for you! I'm getting on a ship tomorrow. I'll be there in a month." "A month? But the home fires are burning now!" "Okay, I'll take a plane," Lorenzo said. "Oh, I can't wait to tell our daughter all about you." "Our what now?" The line suddenly went dead. "Hello, hello?" Ethel said. Margaret, still there with the mail cart, had overhead Ethel's half of the exchange. "Lorenzo, huh?" she said. "Listen, don't tell anyone about this, okay?" Ethel said. "Don't worry," Margaret said, "I deliver the mail, not the news." An hour later, the whole company knew.

(Part 3) Lorenzo must have passed out. When he came to, he was still holding the phone in his hand. He raised it back to his mouth and said, "Ethel, Ethel!" The line was dead. She was gone. He got the operator back and she tried the number again. No answer. That's it, he thought, tomorrow I leave Italy and make my way to this magical place named Pleasantville. So the next day he packed up his clothes and a few books, sold his furniture to his landlord, and set out on his journey. The plane ride was long and bumpy, and he vomited twice. Once in New York, he took a taxi from Idlewild Airport to the Reader's Digest building, which the driver told him was actually in Chappaqua. The cab entered the grounds of Reader's Digest; the iconic building looked stately and regal. He was let off in front of the rotunda entrance. He struggled with his bags, and once inside he saw a woman with an empty wooden cart. "May I borrow that?" he asked. "Sure." "Do you know where Ethel sits?" "Yes, she is down the hall to the left." "Thank you." Lorenzo loaded his luggage into the cart and pushed it as fast as he could down the hall, one wheel squeaking all the way. When he rounded a corner, he laid eyes on Ethel for the first time in 20 years. She was closing the bottom drawer of her desk, and when she looked up their eyes met...

(Part 4) "Lorenzo, oh my god, is it really you?" Ethel said. Or did I drink too much, she thought. "It's really me!" Lorenzo said, sweeping Ethel into his arms and kissing her deeply. Then, "Tell me all about our daughter." "She looks just like you," Ethel said, "except, you know--she's a girl." "She sounds beautiful," Lorenzo said, somewhat narcissistically. "I've saved myself for you for all these years," Ethel said. "You mean--?" "Yes," she said. "That's exactly what I mean." "Then let's leave right now. Can you take the rest of the day off?" "Oh, yes, I have twenty-five weeks of vacation saved up." "It carries over?" "Of course." "Where can we go? I can't wait another minute!" "Me either, darling. We can go to the Guest House." "You have the keys?" "Lorenzo, I practically run this joint!" They took off running hand in hand toward the Guest House, over the well-manicured, expansive lawn, past the wide-eyed landscapers. Margaret returned to reclaim her cart. She shook her head when she saw all the luggage still inside. "Don't worry about me, I'll just unload it for you." She lifted his heavy suitcase, struggled a bit, and accidentally dropped it, just missing her foot. It popped open, and she couldn't believe what she saw inside...

(Part 5) Money was what Margaret saw, packed in tight, American money. It was Lorenzo's life savings; he had closed his accounts before leaving for America, then exchanged it for US dollars at the airport. In his rush to get amorous with Ethel, he had momentarily forgotten about the fortune. Margaret bent down and picked up a stack, ran her thumb across the bills. She looked over her shoulder; no one was around. Would he even notice if a little went missing? She could just take this stack, stash it somewhere in the building. When the storm blew over--if Lorenzo even noticed it was gone--then she'd retrieve the cash. Heck, Reader's Digest wasn't going anywhere, she could come back years from now and get it. She just had to bide her time. She slipped the stack in her pocket, closed up the suitcase, and put it, along with his other small bags, behind Ethel's desk. Now all she had to do was find a good hiding spot. Back at the Guest House--and after Ethel and Lorenzo had conceived their second child in twenty years--Lorenzo lit a cigarette and took a long drag. He passed it to Ethel, who also took a long drag. "Smoking is so cool!" she said. Suddenly, Lorenzo bolted upright. "Oh crap, my denaro!" He jumped out of bed, pulled on his clothes, and took off running. Ethel trailed a few seconds behind but caught up to Lorenzo halfway across the lawn. When they reached the rotunda, Lorenzo said, "Oh no, my luggage is gone!" Ethel went behind her desk to get the secret flask of happy juice and saw the bags. "No, here they are!" Meanwhile, Margaret found the perfect hiding spot for the stack of bills. She had big plans for that money...

(Part 6) Margaret stashed the cash behind a wall that was in repair. The workers had taken a lunch break, and when they returned she watched them seal up the hole. She would return in time and punch a hole small enough for her hand to slip through. Unfortunately a week later, while pushing her decrepit wooden cart to the cafeteria, she slipped on some water (that Ethel had spilled). The cart landed on her head and ended her life, along with her dreams of running off to Spain with the money she found. No one ever found the money, until... APRIL 6, 2010. Hank, a contractor, took a sledgehammer and slammed it into the wall. It was hard to believe Reader's Digest was leaving its longtime home. It was like if the Yankees left Yankee Stadium. And what would become of those four pegasuses on top of the tower? He felt bad, because his parents--Ethel and Lorenzo--had both worked here. But RD hadn't owned this building now for over five years; the new landlords were getting more tenants in, knocking down walls and reconfiguring workspaces. Hank had his own problems to worry about, though, like the bills that were piling up, the scarcity of work during the recession, the repairs his old clunker needed, and the money he owed his bookie. His partner Jonathan stopped to drink some water. Then he said, "Hey Hank, I heard a woman died here once. A wooden cart fell on top of her or something." "Yeah, I heard that," Hank said, and swung the sledgehammer again. He saw something inside the wall, and bent down for a closer look. It was a stack of money. He looked over his shoulder at Jonathan, who was again absorbed in his own work. Hank reached in and ruffled the money. Must be ten grand, he thought. It would really help with his bills. Or, he could just run off to Mexico with his young mistress, like he really wanted to do. It was five o'clock, and time to knock off for the day. Jonathan was suddenly behind him, so Hank left the money where it was, not wanting to split it with his partner. He'd leave it for tomorrow, but tell his mistress the good news tonight. Unfortunately, on his way to meet his mistress that night, his car crashed into a tree head-on while he was dialing said mistress on his cellphone. Neither Hank, nor the tree survived. The cellphone was okay, and still had over 300 minutes left for the month. Construction work at RD was halted indefinitely, as Jonathan went into a deep state of mourning. Not only did he lose his partner, but he also lost his gambling buddy. So, for now, as of this moment, THE MONEY IS STILL INSIDE THE BUILDING!!!